Sunday Herald - 19 January 2003
Helpline for priests' secret lovers
By Jenifer Johnston


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A support group aimed at helping women who have had affairs with Catholic priests is to open a Scottish branch because its English HQ cannot cope with the number of calls coming from Scotland.
The Sonflowers group, which is based in Daventry, Northamptonshire, helps women who have had long-term relationships and even children with priests.

Adrianna Alsworth, 46, who has two daughters by an English priest, said she has been 'inundated' with calls after placing an advert in a Catholic magazine.

Two women even discovered they were both having an affair with the same Scottish priest who had managed to keep it a secret from his bishop.

She claims the Catholic Church refuses to acknowledge the scale of the problem despite high-profile cases such as Bishop Roddy Wright, the former Bishop of Argyll and the Isles who ran off with a married parishioner after fathering a child with a second woman.

Alsworth says the Church will have to face up to its 'silent mistresses' in the same way it has been forced to address the issue of paedophile clergy.

She said: 'The Church in Scotland wants to pretend this is not a major issue and that it is indeed very rare. But it's only the sad cases that hit the headlines and as long as there's no publicity, the Church is happy to turn a blind eye .

'I know of many older priests who have been in long-term relationships which are an open secret in their parishes.

'Sadly, all the stress and responsibility is placed on the women and it's a heavy burden . If the relationship becomes public, it's the woman, the Church's silent mistresses, who get the blame.'

Alsworth wants to run a dedicated Scottish base , but said she had met opposition when she tried to advertise Sonflowers in parishes or in official church publications.

There are 850 ordained priests working in Scotland, with only 35 in seminaries . In the past five years, at least five priests have left to pursue a relationship.

Alex Walker, chair of the Advent Group, which supports priests who are considering leaving their vocation for a relationship, agreed there was a need for a support service in Scotland.

He said: 'Over the years we have supported thousands of priests who formed relationships with women and who were considering leaving the priesthood.

'I can think of several Scottish priests who are in a hidden marriage, or a long-term relationship with a family of their own. It is almost impossible to lead this double life with any sanity or integrity. Bishops do know about a lot of these relationships, but either advise their priests to pursue them discreetly or move the priest into a different area.'

Plans for a Scottish group were welcomed by one Scottish woman who married a former priest five months ago.

Mhairi, 38, became involved with her partner David, also 38, while he was her priest.

'We actually went to school together, but whatever feelings we had we never acted on because he was going into the priesthood,'' she said. 'Years later David became my parish priest and we realised there were strong feelings between us, but I didn't want the pressure of him leaving the ministry for me.

'David talked to his bishop a lot during that period, and thankfully he was very understanding and supportive. David was unhappy with other things about being a priest, and finally decided to leave.

'We are still involved in the Church and I don't doubt that David did the right thing. We received help at various times from the Advent Group, and a helpline for women like me is certainly something that a lot of people would use, so that you have the support to make the right decision.'

Peter Kearney, director of the media office of the Catholic Church in Scotland, said he had not heard of Sonflowers.

He said: 'I think it is unfair to claim this is a problem that is widespread. If there are all these women and priests out there having affairs, then they are doing very well to keep it a secret.'

He added: 'The bishops expect priests to maintain high standards and, as in any walk of life, there will be some who fail to do so.

'There have been cases of priests who have relationships and children. They would be acting as individuals -- the onus would be on them, not the bishop or the Church, to resolve any issues.'



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